I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. — Groucho Marx
Happiness is a choice. I’ve heard this so many times…
Unfortunately, when all of those negative thoughts keep running through your mind, over and over and over, it’s not so easy to tune it out and “just be happy.”
I find myself constantly searching for answers. Constantly dwelling on the past. Constantly wondering what I’m doing wrong. And constantly kicking myself for not being the person I truly wish I could be.
I’ve been in a bad place recently. This is not unusual for me, it comes and goes. However, even with how depressed I’ve been, I recognize that there are a few things in my life that I need to change, and that changing those things will go a long way in my quest for true happiness. For some reason I have been unable to just make those changes.
I have always said that if you are unhappy with your situation you should just change it. I never want to be the person who, in the end, regrets not having done the things I said I wanted to do. Why sit around complaining about your job when you can just find a new one? Why dream about what could be when you could be taking steps to make those dreams reality? Up until the past few years that idea has driven me to act, even in the most difficult of situations. Lately I find myself beating myself up over what I haven’t accomplished while sitting in my recliner binge watching “The Good Wife.”
This isn’t me.
One of the changes that I know I need to make, and the one that I have decided to start with, is getting back to writing. I love writing. I’m not sure it even matters if anyone reads this, the act of actually putting my thoughts into writing forces me to delve further into them, to work out some issues in my own head. Trying to convey what I’m feeling to someone else pushes me to really come to terms with, and evaluate more thoroughly, what those feelings are and what they mean. And how I can change them.
So I shall write… and I shall write often.
It won’t be entirely negative… some will be negative… and some will be positive, and some will be random, and some will be stupid… but I will continue to write, and we’ll see where it takes me.