Love ♥ Marriage

Just don’t know what to say…

I know that it’s oddly ironic that I haven’t blogged since I wrote the blog about whether or not I should continue blogging…

Fact is, I just don’t know what to say right now.

Sometimes I feel like I have too much to say and I’m able to put it all into words.  Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say.  And sometimes, like right now, I have so much to say that I just don’t know where to start.

A lot has happened since I last posted.

  • My 17th anniversary passed right on by.
  • The child we have been visiting with was officially placed with us… meaning: our new daughter moved in.
  • I had a major project at work partially approved…
  • The Supreme Court upheld the Affordable Care Act, otherwise known as “ObamaCare”.
  • I skipped a party last weekend that I had already agreed to attend, and I now feel horribly guilty about it.
  • I was confronted with just one more obstacle in my attempts to become a Guardian ad Litem.
  • Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise…  I generally don’t care about celebrity relationships, but this one involves Scientology!!
  • We bought a new freezer.

I just don’t know what to say about all that.  I have a lot to say, but at the same time I just don’t know what to say.  It’s a lot, and yet…  it’s rather insignificant.  In the grand scheme of things, at least.

Maybe I’ll start picking my way through that list and I’ll write about each one…  soon.

Just not tonight.

Categories: Adoption, All About Ellen Cabot, Government & Politics, Love ♥ Marriage | Leave a comment

OMG Make it STOP!

I was planning for today to be relatively relaxing.  We had to do some general cleaning (a couple loads of laundry and the usual daily stuff), we needed to go shopping but the hubby usually handles that, and that was about it.  Well, and the hour and a half of driving we had to do to get our *hopefully, if all goes well* adoptive daughter home.

Other than that, I planned to just take it easy.

It didn’t exactly work out that way.  Turns out my husband has bronchitis and I had to take him to urgent care… which blew a couple hours between waiting for service at a walk-in clinic and waiting for prescriptions to be filled.  After about an hour adventure at Sam’s Club (a store I hate with a passion), I needed to head to Aldi for our regular grocery shopping (which my husband typically takes care of).  I stopped by Taco Bell on the way home from Aldi and picked up dinner for the family, had everyone help me put the food away as quickly as possible so we could make the 45 minute drive to take our *hopefully* future adoptive daughter home.  Followed by the 45 minute drive back home, and then a stop at Walmart to finish the shopping.

The whole time I was at Walmart I was thinking, “I need this stuff… this will prevent further trips to the store…  I’ll be glad I did this later…”, all the while I was just wishing I could go home, pour myself a glass of wine and relax.

Right now I’m sitting in my dining room with my computer.  I’m thinking I’d like to write a blog, I’m worn out after a ridiculously busy day, I’m on my second (or third?!) glass of wine, and I can’t.seem.to.relax.

My dining room is in the middle of my house.  It’s the only place where I can sit with my laptop and use my mouse, an amazingly fabulous convenience.

In front of me and to the left is my living room, where the furniture has been destroyed, and covered with hair, by animals.  I am no longer comfortable in there, even though it was supposed to be *my* room… partly because I don’t want to use the furniture, but also because I can’t use my mouse.  Two strikes against the living room.

Directly behind me is the kitchen…  obviously not a good place to go with my computer.

Directly in front of me is an *office* area.  That’s where the desktop is, and where my youngest daughter is sitting watching YouTube videos, which I can hear loud and clear from where I sit.  Behind me and to the right is the family room, where my husband is watching Groundhog Day, which I can also hear loud and clear…  clashing with the audio from the YouTube videos.

Normally I would disappear into the bedroom, but my husband has been spending his time lately coating that room in icky germs.  Going in there is NOT an option for the time being.

I’m considering the family room as my bedroom until he gets better…  so he’s currently occupying my bedroom… watching TV in there… and getting it germy as well.

And I’m surrounded by the sounds from the TV, the computer, and the normal family conversations…  “Mom, look at this… Mom can I??? Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom…”  and I just want it all to go away and let me relax.

Does that make me a bad mom?  Or a bad wife?  I’m legitimately asking because I just don’t know and right now I so badly want to tell everyone to go away and it makes me feel so… selfish.

Categories: All About Ellen Cabot, Children & Parenting, Love ♥ Marriage | 2 Comments

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